Yes, I am still alive. I know I haven't posted but this has been a shitty month overall.
I lost one my favorite uncles, my last grandpa, and me favorite dog. My chemo appointment was canceled because I had bad-looking moles growing on my skin. They did some biopsies, and they turned out negative for cancer after four days of waiting.
Not to mention my last chemo SUCKED. They gave me all the drugs at once, and it was worse than I imagined. My face (and body) swelled up like a balloon (almost 20lbs of fluid retention!) and I didn't eat (nothing substantial) for over ten days.
When I got home, I spent the first week in bed. I couldn't do anything. It was horrible.
Because of all of this, round six is the first chemo that I wasn't approaching with enthusiasm. As a matter of fact, you could say I was considering not showing up :).
I had a long talk with myself in the mirror yesterday, and my mirror image listened to reason. The gist: "look buddy, the reason we are doing so well is your strength and positive attitude. What are you going to do, give up? It is working dumbass! Get off your ass, take some deep breaths and get ready for this treatment. It is going to suck, but we will take it one day at a time."
I felt better and I am ready for this. I am in the hospital, they started the drugs last night. No bad feelings yet, but it will come.
Thank you for being patient with me. I am attaching a picture of me swollen up.
Ok I have to say this. I have been thinking about the sword of Damocles story from Greek/roman mythology. To get up to speed click here. Basically this guys gets a sword hanging over his head and he doesn't know when it will fall.
I say, nothing has changed. He still faced uncertain death every day. So Damocles came out on top. Feel free to post opinions.
"Men (and Women) are cursed to know their fate but not the time, We know what we will find at the end of the road, yet know not how long the road may be"