Thursday, March 15, 2007

Sinking In

For a couple of days after getting my good news (see link opt the left), I actually felt depressed. Can you believe that? I know it doesn’t make any sense, but that’s what happened. More than anything, I felt alone. I think that is how you feel when your world changes in an instant.

When I was first diagnosed, I felt the same. Obviously, the news was bad that time; but the feeling of the world changing under my feet was the same. It took some time to sink in and settle in.

I feel great now. I spent the last week in California with my brother, and we had a perfect time. I am moving forward on finding a job for the summer. I feel like I have never been closer to my son, and we are having a good time together.

I is still hard to believe that we (you too) did it! I have read through my blog posts. This is the last paragraph from my first post.

“Thank you for you prayers and thoughts.. I plan on getting through this and ending up in full remission. The is no other alternative I will accept.”

Isn’t that crazy? I am now, almost a year later, in full remission. Awesome.

Going forward, I have 2 more treatments to do. I go in on Monday (19th), and I should be there a week. I will have 2 weeks off, and then back in on April 9th. I’ll be out by April 15th, and they will take my PICC line out before I leave the hospital. I’ll go back in 2 or 3 months for scans, but no plans for more treatments!

Look for the big party to happen the weekend of the 21st or 28th or April. More on that later.

Death to Cancer
Cancer is Dead


Anonymous said...

I'd like to think that I speak for most everyone that reads your posts that we all knew that you would beat this beast one way or another. Like you said earlier - good news can be hard to take. Just let it sink in and smile (I know we are!) and know that you have every right to feel the way you do and that even though no one can really understand the emotions and everything else you're going through, you're not alone. Just think - only 30 more days and
you're finished!
~Lesli L.

Ken said...

So run that ye may obtain.

One step more, and the race is ended;
One word more, and the lesson’s done;
One toil more, and a long rest follows
At set of sun.

Who would fail, for one step withholden?
Who would fail, for one word unsaid?
Who would fail, for a pause too early?
Sound sleep the dead.

One step more, and the goal receives us;
One word more, and your task is done;
One toil more, and the Cross is carried
And sets the sun.

Christina Georgina Rossetti, ~1886.

In other words:
Keep kicking ass, you're almost there. Run the last mile of your marathon, just to show you can.

Anonymous said...

Gosh, I would think that anytime you are at a major emotional miltestone (good or bad) that there would be a lull, even a depression. You've put all you energy into getting to That Point (the good news). And then, POOF, that moment is here. That's huge! Give yourself permission to feel whatever you do -- that's just part of the deal.

Can I come see you this week?? I'll only bring silk flowers :-)


Mark said...

no call for scagnetti in cali?
good to hear yer well, wish we could had a visit...
prayers answered.
hugs fer jenn and cankles,