Fighting in Texas

I was on T.V. :)

2008-09-08T06:07:00.000-07:00

For anyone who missed it, here is a link to the ABCNews story:

http://abcnews.go.com/WN/PersonOfWeek/story?id=5734944&page=1

~~Death to Cancer~~
Cancer is Dead

15 Minutes of Fame

2008-09-03T06:42:00.000-07:00

Since I have finished treatment for stage-4 cancer, I have had several opportunities to raise awareness of the issues that patients under treatment for cancer face. I spoke at the opening of the new Melanoma Clinic at M.D. Anderson, as well as to the M.D. Anderson Advance Team, and the Donor Dinner. In November, I will also speak to the M.D. Anderson Board of Visitors.

Last week, I was given another opportunity to tell my story of diagnosis, treatment, and survival. This Friday, September 5, my story will be featured on ABC World News as part of their “Person of the Week” (http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/PersonOfWeek) series. A film crew spent most of last Friday evening interviewing me and filming me around my apartment and with Jake.

The show will be on your local ABC affiliate (ABC13 in Houston) at 6:30 Eastern, 5:30 Central, 6:30 Pacific. Check your local listings to confirm.

Those of you that know my story will probably not hear or see anything new, given that I blogged my experience extensively. However, it should be interesting to watch anyway!

After the news, please watch the Stand Up 2 Cancer show. It will be broadcast on all the major networks, hosted by Katie Couric, Brian Williams and Charlie Gibson, and will feature talent including Jennifer Aniston, James Taylor, Scarlett Johansson, Meryl Streep, David Cook, Christina Applegate, Lance Armstrong, Jack Black, Kirsten Dunst, Charles Barkley, America Ferrera, Halle Berry, Hilary Swank, Forrest Whitaker, Jimmy Fallon, Keanu Reeves. Go here (http://www.standup2cancer.org) for more information.

Enjoy the show!

~~Death to Cancer~~
Cancer is Dead

A long-Awaited Update

2007-10-14T18:32:00.000-07:00

Hey Everybody!

If you are still reading this blog, you rock! I know I haven't updates since April, but what has there been to write about?

So, I thought I would chime in and update everyone on my recovery from cancer. First, my health: I have been to two checkups and still test negative for cancer. It looks like I'll go back every 3 months for the rest of my life. It sounds bad but you know what? I made alot of friends at the hospital, and its nice to go back and visit.

OK, some bad news... Jen and I are getting divorced. Most of you already know this, but I thought I would put it out there anyway. It is very amicable, and we are still good friends. Jake is handling it well.

Back to good news... School has been great. I have met alot of people in my new class (2008!). They are all very nice and seem excited to integrate me into the group. Classes have gone well. I just finished my mid-terms and I am pretty sure I aced them. Time will tell...

An interesting tidbit: In September, I was asked to speak at the dedication of the new Melanoma and Skin Center at MD Anderson. It was quite an honor, with other speakers such as the President and CEO of El Paso Corporation, the President of the MD Anderson Cancer Center, A very prominent Houston lawyer, and many doctors (including my own). I have youtube videos here showing my speech.

Love you guys, thanks for still reading.

~~Death to Cancer~~
Cancer is Dead

A Quick Note

2007-04-15T18:37:00.000-07:00

I finished treatment today. They took my PICC line out and sent me home.

It feels good to not be a cancer patient.

~~Death to Cancer~~
Cancer is Dead

Getting Ready to Jump Back On

2007-03-29T13:19:00.000-07:00

Hola Mi Familia! Things have been going well here, but it has been quite hectic. The miracle that has happened with my health still has me dumbfounded. It is a good emotion though. I still cry every now and then thinking about it. Almost done, one more step. Life is a merry-go-round, and I have been watching it from the sidelines.

I did another round of High-Dose IL-2 last weekend. I won’t get into the gory details, since I have described this treatment in previous posts. Suffice it to say though, that this was the toughest one yet. My body did not react well, and I came out of it looking and feeling bad. I got out on Sunday, and I still feel like I am recuperating. I have this new condition in my shoulders that is similar to arthritis, but caused by the drugs. Thankfully, it is not permanent, but may last awhile. Ugggghhhhh…..

Most of my time is spent finding my perfect internship for the summer. Because of the timing of my illness, I did not get to do an internship after my first year of school. So, before I start my second, I am going to do one this summer. The decision of what to do is a hard one; compounded by the fact that I am not sure what my long-term goals are. I am a bit tortured right now, and I feel like I am deciding my future. The good news is that all the possible opportunities are amazing. How do you decide between awesome opportunities? I don’t know yet. It will be resolved soon.

The party is coming along, and I am glad that some people have already RSVP’d. It is turning out bigger that originally planned; but what the hell? Just like too many job opportunities, having too big of a party is a great problem to have.

One more treatment. I go in a week from Monday (the 9th) for my last chemo treatment. After that, I will officially be in recovery. I am scared of returning to life and work, but so ready. Physically, I have a lot of work to do. I have been doing nothing for a year, and I need to be able to work 8-10 hours per day. If anyone can recommend a personal trainer, please let me know. I will have about a month from my lat treatment until I start work.

With my eyes closed, I can see it. The merry-go-round is slowing down and I can get back on. All my friends are on it, and I want to ride badly. Soon. Very soon.

~~Death to Cancer~~
Cancer is Dead

Time to Party!

2007-03-26T15:03:00.000-07:00

Hey everybody,

I said I would be throwing a party when I beat cancer. Well, it’s been beat and it’s time to party. Jen and I would like to thank you for your support by inviting you to the Fighting in Texas Cinco de Mayo Party!

Click the link below for party details. I don’t have everybody’s email address, so please feel free to forward this to anyone that may be interested, all are invited. I ask only that people R.S.V.P. on Evite so that I know how many people are coming.

Come celebrate with us!

http://www.evite.com/pages/invite/viewInvite.jsp?event=UQRPDTNUOHEFEFULQLLG&unknownUser=true

~~Death to Cancer~~
Cancer is Dead

Sinking In

2007-03-15T07:48:00.000-07:00

For a couple of days after getting my good news (see link opt the left), I actually felt depressed. Can you believe that? I know it doesn’t make any sense, but that’s what happened. More than anything, I felt alone. I think that is how you feel when your world changes in an instant.

When I was first diagnosed, I felt the same. Obviously, the news was bad that time; but the feeling of the world changing under my feet was the same. It took some time to sink in and settle in.

I feel great now. I spent the last week in California with my brother, and we had a perfect time. I am moving forward on finding a job for the summer. I feel like I have never been closer to my son, and we are having a good time together.

I is still hard to believe that we (you too) did it! I have read through my blog posts. This is the last paragraph from my first post.

“Thank you for you prayers and thoughts.. I plan on getting through this and ending up in full remission. The is no other alternative I will accept.”

Isn’t that crazy? I am now, almost a year later, in full remission. Awesome.

Going forward, I have 2 more treatments to do. I go in on Monday (19^th), and I should be there a week. I will have 2 weeks off, and then back in on April 9^th. I’ll be out by April 15^th, and they will take my PICC line out before I leave the hospital. I’ll go back in 2 or 3 months for scans, but no plans for more treatments!

Look for the big party to happen the weekend of the 21^st or 28^th or April. More on that later.

~~Death to Cancer~~
Cancer is Dead

Bang! Bang! Bang!

2007-03-03T06:37:00.000-08:00

It’s true, it’s true! The cancer is still gone! The doctor did not call me and say he got my results mixed up with someone else’s. The cancer is gone. In the words of Reverend Martin Luther King Jr., “Free at Last! Free At last. Free at Last. Thank God Almighty, I am Free At Last.”

Well, not quite.

As it turns out, I’m not done. I just happen to have one of those doctors that don’t consider every test they can perform enough, he wants more. He wants me to do 2 more treatments of the High-Dose IL-2 before going on a monitoring program. 2 more treatments. Can I do it?

Hell Yes!

I can do 2 treatments. I can do more than that if I have to (don’t tell my doctor). Anyone who has played a shooting video game knows that there is no greater pleasure than standing over your defeated enemy, and firing a couple shots into his now-dead corpse. Bang! Bang! Bang!. Take that, Cancer.

It won’t be easy. My treatments have gotten harder with every step. Vomiting, shaking, fevers, chills, you name it. 7 days of hell followed by 14 days of recovery.

Bring it on.

~~Death to Cancer~~

Cancer is Dead

Wow

2007-02-28T08:41:00.000-08:00

I read somewhere that the first rule of journalism is not to bury the meat of a story deep in the text so here it is:

They found no evidence of cancer in my belly.

That’s right. No evidence of cancer. During my surgery on Friday, the surgeon took many small biopsies of what looked like cancerous tissue. It was sent to the lab and there was no cancer in the samples. Diagnosis: negative for cancer.

Wow.

I have to admit, I am more than a little freaked out. When the nurse called, I started sobbing uncontrollably. Jacob came up and said “why are you crying daddy?”. I told him “because I am so happy.” He gave me a hug and a kiss and asked why I was happy. I told him “cause daddy isn’t sick anymore.”

Not sick anymore. Wow.

My aunt made a good point, saying sometimes good news is hard to take. It is very true.

I will have more information later, after I talk to the doctor. Thank you for your prayers, there could be no better evidence of them working.

~~Death to Cancer~~

Cancer is Dead

Back From Surgery

2007-02-24T07:02:00.000-08:00

Just a short note. I had my surgery yesterday and everything went fine. The doctor poked two holes in me and looked around, took a couple biopsies, and sewed me back up. I had some trouble getting out of the hospital, but I am home and in a relatively small amount of pain (thank you Oxycodone!).

My surgeon saw improvement in my cancer since the last time he looked (October). There appears to be less cancer than before, and the doctor is happy with that. He biopsied (took samples) of the cancer he saw, and sent it to the lab. The lab will determine if the cells are viable (alive) or dead. There is a chance that the cancer has been killed by the chemotherapy, but still sits in my belly as a dead mass of tissue.

I should get the lab results on Wednesday, so look for news then.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers, they seem to be working! I love you all.

Death to Cancer

What Am I Going To Do?

2007-02-21T13:51:00.000-08:00

Sorry I haven’t written in a while. It seems that the more nervous I am, the less I write. Right now, I am very nervous. I have completed 4 rounds of IL-2 treatment, and responded well. I had my re-staging scans yesterday, and the doctor says they don’t look any worse than before. It is very hard to tell if there is cancer in my belly from CT scans, so we are going to do another diagnostic laparoscopy on Friday.

If they find don’t more cancer in my belly during the surgery, I plan to do 2 more rounds of IL-2, and then I’ll be done. I’ll come back every three months for scans, but no more treatments for now.

If they find cancer, I will probably switch treatments to something else. As you can imagine, a lot is riding on the outcome of this surgery, and I am very nervous about it. So, rather than drone on and on about my state of mind, I decided to take the positive route and list all the things I am going to do after I am proclaimed free of cancer.

- Throw a big party. Everyone and anyone will be invited., If you are reading this, you are invited.
- Get a tattoo. This is something I have always wanted, but I have never been sure what to get. Now I know. More on this later.
- Go skydiving with my wife, Jennifer. What better affirmation of life is there than risking it for sheer pleasure. I figure, if God let me beat cancer, he isn’t going to make my chute fail a week later.
- Play a round of golf. I haven’t played in a year, and I am ready to get out there.
- Take a bath and go swimming. I can’t do either until I get my PICC line out. I missed swimming all summer.
- Personally thank everyone that sent me a card / note / gift/ prayer card. I have saved everything. You all can expect to be hearing from me.
- Take a deep breath, cry, kiss my wife and my son. Enough said.
- Get back to life. Get an internship, finish school, and try to live up to my wife’s high opinion of me.

Any other suggestions?

Death to Cancer

Here We Go Again

2007-01-29T09:53:00.000-08:00

One question I got last week from a reader is “How do you get ready to go into the hospital, and what do you bring with you?”

I go in tonight, so I think this is a good time to go through my routine. All last week and this weekend I have been making sure that the fridge and freezer is stocked for Jen and Jake. The last thing she needs to do is go to the grocery store. I also made a meatloaf and a lasagna that I left in the fridge.

The morning of my admitting I call to get a password to the wireless ineternet at the hosipital. I don't get admitted until after 7pm, so I get this taken care of early.

I bring the same things to the hospital every time. Here is my packing list:

Pajamas, Tee-Shirts, Slippers: I refuse to wear hospital gowns, so I wear jammies all the time in the hospital.
My X-Box 360 and Games: I bought this after my second trip to the hospital. I have brought it with me ever since, and it helps relieve the boredom.
My Laptop: to read email and sometimes even get some work done. The hospital has wireless internet, which is very helpful.
Candy Candy Candy: I bring candy to eat when I can’t eat anything else. I also like to have it to give to the army of nurses and doctors that I see on a daily basis.
My Pillow and Blanket: A little touch of home away from home.
Decorations: Cards from Jake, pictures of my family, and a bunch of signs Kelleye made for me.
Books and Magazines: I am bringing The Long Tail to finish up, and I usually bring a Business Week or 2.
Me: I wish I could leave this at home!

I’ll be in for a week. Wish me luck!
Peace, Love, and Hershey’s

Don't Say It!

2007-01-24T05:58:00.000-08:00

In the movie “Brighton Beach Memoirs”, the lead character monologues about diseases. Hey says that when you say the name of a bad disease, you have to whisper it, or you will get it yourself. “My uncle has pancreititis” or “My brother died of cancer”. Especially cancer. That word is the worst possible thing. Nobody says it except doctors and patients.

When I see people I know, they never say cancer. It is “how are you feeling?” and “how are you doing?”, “how did it go last time”, and “I am proud of you for how you are handling this.” Here is a list of things people don’t say:

“How is your cancer?”
“Beat that cancer yet?”
“Has your cancer gotten worse?”
“How is the cancer fight going?”
“You look great for a cancer patient.”

Don’t get me wrong, people are truly concerned and their support is awesome. But it is interesting how cancer provokes such caution with people’s words. Maybe other patients are different, but I am not ashamed or embarrassed about my cancer. I have no problem talking about it or answering questions.

I am doing well. My cancer is going (or gone) away, and the treatments seem to be the reason. I have the best doctor in the world, and I am at the best hospital in the world. My wife and son brighten every day of my life. I guess if things weren’t going so well, I might not be as happy to talk about it. Maybe.

Peace and Love.
Double Goose in Your Eye.

Jumping Back On

2007-01-16T19:23:00.001-08:00

Since starting treatment for malignant melanoma last May, sometimes I feel like the world is a merry-go-round. Things seem to move quite fast, and every couple of weeks, I take a step off and do another treatment. The world spins on, oblivious (maybe), of the temporary loss of one of its inhabitants. A few days after I get home from the hospital, I get a little run going, and hop back onto the merry-go-round.

My last treatment went well, although it was one of my worst eating-wise. I went in last Monday, and Tuesday Jen brought me a sandwich from Schlotzsky’s (after this, I am going to do a commercial for these guys: “Your turkey-bacon-club got me through chemotherapy”). It was the last thing I ate until Saturday morning.

The treatments are definitely having a cumulative effect. After the second dose of IL-2, I felt like I did at the end of the last treatment. I did 6 doses (yeah), and the doctor called it quits (wimp). Actually, I was determined not to cry uncle.

On the plus side, it was my shortest hospital stay ever (4 nights ICU, 1 recovery). It isn’t that I responded so well, or recovered so quickly. I think they just trust me to take care of myself and follow instructions when I get home. I say that’s good. I go home where I am more comfortable, and someone needier gets my bed at the hospital.

For the next post, I am taking questions from the audience. Email me or post a comment on the blog with your question and I will try to answer it. Feel free to ask me anything related to my cancer, treatment, state-of-mind, family, etc. No holds barred.

Well, until then, it is time to get back to the business of living, and business is good.

No News is Good News

2007-01-04T07:56:00.000-08:00

Hello Constant Reader (a phrase borrowed from Stephen King):

Yesterday I went to the hospital to get the results of the tests I had last week. As it turns out, they show nothing. This is good news. Last time, they showed nothing, so showing something would be bad news.

I have mentioned before that my cancer doesn’t really show up on scans. I can explain that a bit more. To understand why scans don’t work for me very well, you have to understand the concept of resolution.

A viewing machine can only see details as fine as its resolution, details smaller than that are lost. Imagine a large (say 10 feet wide) map of the United States. You can identify (resolve) different states, mountain ranges, maybe counties, rivers, maybe some large lakes. Maps like this usually have dots for the cities, even large ones. What about the neighborhood you live in? You can’t see (resolve) that on a map of the United States. It is just too small. If someone were to try to draw your neighborhood on the map, they would find they need a very small pen. In fact, the size of the pen you can use determines the resolution.

Even if the person were to draw your neighborhood, it would be wrong, because just putting a dot on the map would cover many neighborhoods. In other words, you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between one neighborhood and another.

This is the problem with my scans. Although my cancer spread around my abdomen, it was thinner than the resolution of the scanning machines (CT scanner). If the resolution of a CT Scan is 1 millimeter, then the machine cannot see anything smaller than that. The only way to see something smaller, is to open me up and look. The human eye can see much better than a CT scanner (in some ways).

So, why do we do these scans, especially considering that they are so uncomfortable? Well, if the cancer grows, we need to know right away. They scan my brain with MRI to see if the cancer has spread there. All my scans come up negative for cancer.

My next post is going to explain some cancer treatments, and why they work (or don’t)

Cancer Sucks

Poked and Prodded

2006-12-29T09:47:00.000-08:00

Hello everybody. I hope you had as good a Christmas as I had. We had everyone over for Christmas Eve, about 17 people. It went very well. I gotta tell you, I love Eggnog. I put a shot of Southern Comfort in it and dust the top with nutmeg. Boo-Yah!

So yesterday I went to the hospital for re-staging. Basically, they re-evaluate where my cancer is, and how effective the treatment has been. I don’t have results yet, but I did get to have these tests:
- Chest and Neck X-Ray
- Brain MRI with and without contrast
- Blood tests (lots of these)
- CT Scan of the abdomen and pelvis (with and without contrast).

The worst is the CT scan because
a) They can’t use my PICC line to inject the contrast so they have to give me an IV. IVs hurt like living hell.
b) I have to drink barium (liquid poop) for an hour and a half before the procedure.
c) I get to have a barium enema during the test (I know, I know, TMI).

On the plus side, the actual CT scan only takes about 10 minutes.

The easiest test is the chest x-ray. Stand up, turn to the side, breathe in, and hold it, you're done. I get the results on Wednesday. I am not expecting any big revelation, and will probably continue with my IL-2 treatments on the following Monday.

How was your holiday?

P.S. You don’t have to be registered to comment anymore.

Looking Back

2006-12-24T06:52:00.000-08:00

Well everyone, it has been a tough year. As a matter of fact, besides the year I was born (boy was that traumatic); it has been one of the toughest. I wanted to use this post to look back and thank the people that have helped me so much this year. I couldn’t have done it alone. So without further ado, here is my list of shout-outs:

Dr. Patrick Hwu, Dr. Paul Mansfield
I don’t have much faith in miracles, I have faith in doctors. I credit 99% of my recovery to these two guys.

Jennifer
The only way to test the strength of a chain is to pull it until it breaks. My wife is titanium steel.

Jacob
I may not have always acted like I wanted to see him; but from the first time he came to see me in the hospital, he made it like home. He can ride on daddy’s magic chair anytime.

Jordan
How my brother worked nights, spent his days with me, and still managed to sleep is a wonder of human endurance. He actually created hours in the day! Nobody has been more willing to help at any hour for any reason.

Dad
Driving me to the hospital, coming to visit me every other day like clockwork. He has been there for me like only a dad can.

Aunt Jan (Nanny)
She is so special to me. Why do I cry every time she visits me in the hospital?

Carol Lacey, Physician’s Assistant
Everything I know about cancer I from Carol. She is ne of the busiest people in the hospital, but never failed to answer a question for me or my family.

The other doctors and PAs in the Melanoma Clinic (Hwu, Bedikian, Papadapolous, and Kim)
When I go into the hospital for a treatment round, I never know which doctor will be taking care of me for the week. Because these doctors are so awesome, I never worried about it.

The nurses at MD Anderson, especially Ida, Lauren, Joseph, Grace, and Effie
Nursing has got to be one of the hardest jobs in the world. These are the ones that take care of me in every way you can take care of a person.

Claire, Mike, and Eric
My friends from school worked very hard to make me feel like I wasn’t even away.

My friends at SalvageSale but especially Scott, Ken, and Kim
These guys made me feel normal when I was out of the hospital. Thanks for treating me like a human.

The MD Anderson Cancer Center
What an amazing place! Truly a place of healing. I owe them alot.

Most of All: You!
You read my blog, comment, tell your friends. I love you guys.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy New Year!

Who are the lucky ones?

2006-12-20T10:20:00.000-08:00

So, I have tried to stay away from overt reminders of my condition like movies about people dying of cancer. But, today I was flipping through the channels and “My Life” came on. I couldn't turn it off.

It is about a man with terminal cancer who uses a video camera to leave messages for his unborn son. Michael Keaton is awesome as the cancer patient, and Nicole Kidman plays the wife well.

The movie got me thinking, is it possible that the people that are told by the doctor “you have so many months to live” are the lucky ones? Ok, ok, I would rather die later than sooner. But given that everyone dies, is it better to know when in advance?

In the movie, Michael Keaton starts out as an “unexamined life.” He does not talk to his parents or his brother, and he has grown distant from his wife. He doesn’t share in the pregnancy by going to ultrasounds, etc… Over the course of the film (about 10 months I think), he is able to sort through his issues with his family, and reignites the love and passion with his wife. By telling his son about his life (via the videotapes), he examines and betters himself.

If he had never had cancer but died the same day as he does in the movie, would he have lived as good a life? He would not have had the chance to tell his son so much about himself. He would have died still mad at his family, still distant from his wife, and not really knowing himself.

Personally, I would want to know. I am a “planner,” and I would want to “put my house in order.”

What would you want? The comment board is open.

Double-goose in your eye

Cancer 101 Part 2 - What Causes Skin Cancer?

2006-12-17T12:04:00.001-08:00

In the last post we looked at what cancer is. We know cancer is basically cells that refuse to stop dividing (gone crazy). In this post, I will try to explain what causes cancer. Please note: I am neither a doctor or cancer expert. If anything that I say is misleading or wrong, please let me know and I will change it immediately. What I put here I have learned from my doctors over the last 9 months fighting cancer.

So, there are these crazy cells that won’t stop dividing right? What causes that? Don’t they know when to stop, and why doesn’t the problem just fix itself?

It starts with DNA. DNA is the “user manual” for a cell. It tells the cell what kind of cell to be, and how to be that kind cell. It also governs the cells lifecycle by telling it how to divide and when to stop dividing. OK, it is actually much more complicated than that, but one can think of DNA as a cell’s brains. Unfortunately, DNA can be damaged, and that is what causes cancer.

A common cause of cancer is radiation exposure (think nuclear bomb or power plant meltdown). Radiation causes damage to DNA, changing it slightly or damaging it just a bit. Usually, small bits if damage to DNA have no effect. All they really do is make the cell unable to function or reproduce. Imaging if you took the instruction manual to your oven and randomly changed 1000 letters in the book. The odds are good that the book wouldn’t make any sense anymore. However, what if you just happened to change the first sentence to say “put your head in the oven and turn it on.” Those random changes just made a big mess.

When DNA damage causes cancer, it means that the cell’s “user manual” no longer contains the instructions on how to stop dividing. There are many things that can change the “words” of a cell’s DNA. Radiation (nukes) and chemical toxins (chemicals in cigarettes) are two of the most common.

There are also genetic traits that can predispose you to getting certain kinds of cancer. This doesn’t mean that my son will get cancer because I did, but it does mean that he is more likely to get it than someone whose dad did not have skin cancer.

So what causes skin cancer? If we only knew… Current conventional wisdom points to UV Radiation. The sun’s light is composed of many colors (ever see a rainbow). Some of those colors we can’t even see. One of those colors us ultraviolet. If you could see ultraviolet colors through a prism, they would be just beyond purple in the rainbow. As it turns out, exposure to this UV light damages the DNA of melanocytes, the cells responsible for the color of your skin. If they are damaged enough, they can go crazy and become cancer.

Skin cancer is the most common type of cancer in the United States with 1 million new cases diagnosed every year. The best way to protect yourself from getting skin cancer is to wear sun block when outdoors ALL THE TIME and do not tan. If you do tan, you run the risk of being a great looking corpse, because you died of skin cancer.

Next in this series we will look at the current treatments for cancer, how they work, and what is on the horizon.

Death to Cancer

Cancer 101 Part 1 - What is Cancer?

2006-12-14T19:40:00.000-08:00

As most of you know, in late April of this year I was diagnosed with Metastatic Melanoma (cancer). I don't think I have ever taken the time to fully explain what this disease is, what its symptoms are, and how my treatments fight it. So, I now begin the first of a 3 part series. This post will explain what Metastatic Melanoma is (I hope).

Everybody has skin (some have more of it than others). Melanoma is a form of cancer of the skin. You can get cancer of almost any organ, and your skin is your largest organ. So what is cancer? According to Wikipedia, cancer is the uncontrolled division of cells that has the ability to move throughout your body.

Your body makes new cells by dividing existing cells. When you get cancer somewhere, your cells basically go crazy. They keep dividing and dividing and they don't stop. That is why people develop tumors; uncontrolled cell division creates growth in that type of tissue. For example: Somebody gets liver cancer so their liver cells keep dividing and dividing, creating a lump of liver tissue where there shouldn't be one.

Melanoma is cancer of the skin cells that cause pigmentation (melanocytes). These cells are responsible for the color for your skin. These cells go crazy and won't stop dividing. Since they are dark colored cells, when they form a mass on the skin it looks like a mole.

So, why do people die of extra skin cells? Well, they key is in a process called metastasis. When cancer moves into an area that can transport it somewhere else, it hitches a ride and then implants itself somewhere else. For example: someone has skin cancer and the cancer cells get into the blood. They hitch a ride on the blood all the way to the person's brain. They then implant in the brain and start growing there. The cancer is said to have metastasized.

While a mass of uncontrolled growth on your skin might be annoying, that same mass growing inside your brain can be downright problematic. Without treatment, it can (and probably will) kill you. Once cancer metastasizes, it becomes a very serious situation.

Cancer is broadly characterized by the type of cells that it affects (skin, liver, blood, brain, lung, breast, etc…) and the stage of the cancer. Cancer comes in four stages:

Stage I – the cancer is still where it started (in situ). It hasn’t moved or grown much.
Stage II and Stage III – these cancers have stared to invade or move. In the case of Melanoma, stage III means the cancer has spread locally to a nearby lymph node.
Stage IV – this means that the cancer has spread into the rest of the body (metastasized).

My cancer is stage IV Malignant Melanoma with metastasis on the peritoneum. My primary tumor (where it started) was on my back and was removed surgically 6 years ago. So, my cancer started as crazy cells on my back, that burrowed down to the blood or lymph system. They then used that system to hitch a ride to my gut, where they implanted on my peritoneum.

So that is cancer. The next post will explain how cancer causes problems (symptoms).

Peace and Love.

Getting Ready for Christmas

2006-12-12T07:44:00.000-08:00

Happy Holidays Family and Friends!

I hope the holiday season is going well for everyone. I am having a great time so far.

For Thanksgiving, Jen's parents came over for dinner. I cooked the turkey, as I always do, and it turned out great. I added breakfast sausage to my mom's stuffing recipe (actually my Grandma Connelly's recipe), the first change I have ever dared . I was happy with the result. Lots of people ask me for my turkey recipe, but it is one of those "a little of this, a little of that" recipes. This year, I took careful notes and pictures. I hope to release the recipe soon, in time for Christmas.

Jen and I saw Borat last weekend. It was hilarious but be careful if you plan to see it. If you are easily offended by anything, don't see it. The movie manages to try to offend everyone at one point or another. It rocked!

I am feeling fine, and have been living pretty normally (see previous post). I go back to the doctor December 28th for re-staging. They will give me X-Rays, CT Scans, blood work, and a MRI to decide what to do next. For me, it is just really a formality. The doctor is already planning on 2 more cycles before we quit. I plan to start the next cycle on January 8th.

Thanks for reading.

Death to Cancer

Everything is Normal

2006-12-05T08:12:00.000-08:00

Given the situation, "everything is normal" is not a phrase that seems to apply. However, that is how I have felt. Going to the hospital every three weeks or so and staying for 6-9 days is normal. Flushing my permanent IV every night with blood thinner to prevent clots is normal. Being stuck in the house, unable to drive for up to a week at a time is normal. Re-acquainting myself with my family when I get home from a treatment is normal. Forcing myself to eat and a few days later eating all day is normal. In short, I live a normal life.

Jen and I are getting to be pros at fighting cancer.

People have been asking about the new treatments. If you recall, I have been switched to the "High -Dose Interleukin II" treatments, which require me to be in the ICU.

Basically, I go into the hospital on Monday, and get admitted to the ICU. There, they hook me up to all sorts of machines. These machines monitor my heart rate, heart activity, oxygen absorption, breathing, blood pressure, etc... For about 24 hours they hydrate me with fluids, then on Tuesday the fun begins.

Starting on Tuesday, they give me a dose of Interleukin-II every 8 hours until my body gives out or I crack. The drugs don't have an immediate effect, I can't tell when they go in except that the nurse tells me they are starting a dose. The doctor has to approve each dose. They even call him to wake him up in the middle of the night to ask him about my 1 am dose.

About 2 hours after the dose gets into me, I get cold and start to shiver. It happens very quickly, going from normal to flapping like a fish on the docks in about 5 minutes. The nurses come and wrap me in these nice heated blankets and give me a dose of Demerol. The shivering can last up to an hour. Then I throw up. Dose complete. Repeat.

The first time I had this treatment it wasn't very bad. My resting heart rate tripled after 8 doses and the doctor quit. The second time, I was able to go 7 doses, and I cried uncle. It was the first time I asked the doctors to stop giving me cancer drugs, and I regret it somewhat. Even though the doctor said he was ready to stop them on me anyway, the fact that I was going to quit represents a failure of will that I didn't like. I guess I am not Superman (note: I really am Superman).

I am home now, recovering. I am out of the hospital until the new year (yippee!) and am going to try to stay busy. I have been doing alot of cooking and plan to take a few 1 day cooking classes soon.

I hope everybody is having a great holiday season!

A Light at the End of a Long Tunnel

2006-11-02T04:40:00.000-08:00

Howdy everyone! I thought I would update you on my progress and go-forward plan, as of yesterday…

My laparascopic surgery on Friday went about as well as can be expected. I went in, they knocked me out, and then they looked inside of me. When I woke up, I spent about 2 hours recovering and then went home. By Monday, I was off the pain medication and I feel fine. My surgeon was the same guy that found the cancer in me in May and so he was the perfect person to look again. According to him, my cancer is 99.5% gone.

That is mixed news. 99.5% is a lot of cancer to kill, but any cancer is still cancer. We have to do something about the last 0.5%. So I went to my clinical doctor yesterday to talk about options. These are my options.

Option 1: Continue with the treatments that I have been getting (biochemotherapy). Obviously something is working, why stop now? The disadvantage is that this treatment has some bad permanent side effects that have already started appearing in me. Loss of hearing and loss of feeling in my feet (neuropathy). This treatment also wreaks havoc on my bone marrow, a potentially dangerous side effect.

Option 2: Switch to a new treatment, High-Dose Interkeukin-2. I have already been getting Interleukin (IL-2, Proleukin) in my biochemotherapy. This treatment would only give me this drug, but would increase the dose to about 10 times what I have been receiving. The advantage of this treatment is that its effects (the good ones) can be permanent. The doctor likened it to the polio vaccine I had when I was a baby. I still haven’t gotten polio, even though I got the vaccine 31 years ago. The disadvantage of this treatment is that it is very rough. I have to be in the ICU and there is a real risk of heart attack. However, once the drugs are gone out of my system, all the side effects go away. No permanent side effects.

So, we decided on option 2. I go back into the hospital on Monday, and will probably be there 10 days or so. I have to get a new PICC line, so I will be back to “real cancer patient” for a while. The really bad news is that the doctor wants to do at least 4 cycles of this new treatment. That will last at least until the end of January. That takes school next semester off the table. I have to admit, I am really bummed about that.

So, what do I think about this? I felt like I was losing my steam during the last two treatments, and I was looking forward to being done (understatement). I didn’t think I would still be doing therapy in January. I feel reenergized from the good report (great report, actually), but I worry that I don’t have the stamina for 3.5 – 4 months of treatment. It really doesn’t matter anyway, not doing the therapy is not an option, and neither is failing. My job for the last 6 months has been “Cancer Warrior”.

I guess it is time to get back to work.

Great News!

2006-10-26T05:10:00.000-07:00

Hello faithful readers:

I hope things are going well in your corner of the world. If you are facing adversity or difficulty, continue reading. "When it's darkest, the stars shine the brightest."

There is the real possibility that my cancer is gone. I'll say that again.

There is the real possibility that my cancer is gone.

I went to the doctor yesterday to get the results of my scans. The first thing the PA said when I asked about the tests was "well, we might not have got all of it." That sounded like BAD news, but what she was saying was "we might have got all of it."

When the doctors came in, it was a different story. They showed me my CAT scan from April (when I was diagnosed) next to my CAT scan from yesterday. Jen and I were floored. In a nutshell, my cancer is gone from the scan except maybe 1% of what was there. The doctor explained that that piece could be lots of things. It could be active cancer, dead cancer, scar tissue from the cancer, etc...

So, what next? I go under the knife tomorrow (Friday) for an exploratory laparoscopy. They will make 2 small holes in my belly and blow my belly up with carbon dioxide. Then, through one of the holes they will put a scope (camera), and through the other they will insert a kind of multi tool. The tool allows them to push and pull stuff around, and snip little pieces for biopsy later.

An important point to remember. Even if the cancer isn't gone, it has been shown that it responds to the chemo. If I have to go through 1 or 2 or 3 or 4 more treatments, so be it. It is working. The fact is, I will be healthy again. We are winning this battle, the cancer is losing.

Keep those positive thoughts and prayers coming! My surgery is Friday 7:30 AM at MD Anderson. I will update with news as soon as possible.

Hoo-Rah!

Emotions

2006-10-11T13:23:00.000-07:00

Emotions are a funny thing. Most of the time we don't notice them. They stay in the background, quietly running our life until we take a step outside of ourselves to examine them. Usually, with the goal of suppressing them, but sometimes we gain a deeper understanding of our own actions by looking at our emotional state.

When my wife was pregnant, she was suceptible to the most dramatic mood swings anyone could imagine. It wasn't how quickly they changed, but the magnitude of the emotion that was suprising.

I think being a patient with stage 4 cancer is similar. I feel like I am constantly in a charged emotional state. The littlest things set off my emotions to crying, laughing, quiet depression, mania, and anger. I cry at everything with a child or somebody who dies on TV.

The emotions I feel related to my cancer are:

Sadness. I am sad for the way my life could have been without the cancer. I am sad for my freinds and family that are going through this with me.

Happiness. I am happy that I have reconnected with so many family members and old freinds. There is nothing like an ilness to bring people together. I am also happy for the new freinds that I have made at the hospital (doctors, nurses, and patients).

Lonliness. When I am between treatments, I am very lonely. Everyone I know is at work or school. Because I am a bit of a loner by nature, this isn't as bad as it could be.

Frustration. I am frustrated about sitting at some and resting. I am not a sit around and do nothing type of person, but I have to because of my fatigue.

Anger. More than anything, cancer pisses me off. It is a raw deal, and people who have cancer or know someone with cancer all get screwed. This disease steals so much from you, you wonder what will be left when it has gone.

So, those are my emotions. Sorry about the outburst yesterday, but it happens. When people tell me how impressed they are that I have been able to stay so positive, I usually tell them that I don't feel like writing when I am deppresed. Yesterday was different, and you guys got a window into the "bad things" that I think about.

Thank you for your comments and calls, they really do make me feel better. My freinds and family rock!

Focker out.

PS, I built my older brother a website for his photography but nobody seems to be going to it. Here is a shameless plug, check it out http://vpds.biz.

Yes, I am afraid of dying.

2006-10-10T08:54:00.000-07:00

That is a really hard thing to say. When you have cancer, you have to stay positive and optimistic to get through the days. But I spend alot of time afraid. In bed at night, trying to sleep is hard.

I have never been a very religious person, and cancer hasn't changed that. They say "there are no atheists in foxholes", but the prospect of death at the hands of this horrible disease has not given me a magic shot of faith. I think people who have faith in afterlife have it easier than those who don't. The prospect of life and conciousness just ending in a moment is terrifying.

I am not having a good day. Some are good and some are bad, and this one doesn't feel right. For some reason I got out my "Melanoma Book" and read the section on stage 4 cancer and chemotherapy. The survival statistics suck, and they make me afraid.

All of us are going to die, nobody lives forever. I am not at peace with this, I am afraid.

See ya

Finished #6

2006-10-09T13:45:00.000-07:00

Hola from Houston!

I hope everyone is doing well, thank you for the comments to my last post. That pumpkin coffee thingee from Starbucks sounds really good, I can't wait to try one.

I am just recovering from my last treatment. The recovery time for my treatments has gotten really horrible. I think it is a sign of the cumulative effect of the treatments. Like the treatment before last, I spent the last week in bed feeling sick. I finally started feeling better today, 6 days since I got out of the hospital.

As treatments go, this last one could have been worse. I swelled up like a wet sponge again, but not as bad as the first time. Probably the worse part of me treatment was that I only got to see ennifer twice during the whole week. She is busy taking care of everything else in our life, and it gets a bit hectic. She is kicking ass at work though, and with their killer health insurance, I can't complain.

So the biggest news is, they took my PIC line out. For those of you that haven't seen me since this whole thing started, this was a semi-permanent IV catheter in my arm. It sure was uncomfortable, and I am glad it is out. I can take a shower now wothout anyone's help (my PIC line couldn't get wet). It may signal the end of my treatments, :)

So I go back in on the 25th to meet with my surgeon (who is awesome) and schedule another laparoscopy. This is where the rubber meets the road, as it were. He is going to open me up and look to see if there is cancer left and how much. This will tell us if the treatments are working and if they do any more. I am sure everyone knows what I am hoping for.

Until then, I am just hanging out with family and trying to build my strength back up. I love and miss you all, you are in my thoughts too.

Connelly out.

The Hairy Marshmallow

2006-09-30T05:38:00.000-07:00

Hello from marshmallow land! I'm the stay puffed marshmallow man!

Hi everybody.

Day 4 of 8, not much to report. No nausea, although my eating has slowed down. I am a little weak, I got in a fight yesterday and totally won. Be for you ask, she was in 5th grade.

Been having some IM conversations with people I love and miss. Scagnetti, you know who I am talking about.

Bad: the nurses won't let me sleep. They come in about every 15 minutes and poke me and prod me (and not in a good way). Funny thing, they go hours without bothering me during the day.

I have convinced one of the nurses to walk me down to starbucks because I can't leave the floor without a nurse. I get a Caramel Macciato (sp?), what do you get at starbucks? The comment board is open.

I don't want everyone to get to excited (men, hold you ladies down), but my hair is growing back! I am not ready to post a picture, but if you visit me you are welcome to feel the hair. It is soft like a baby's hair and straight black.

OK, I'm out. I miss you all, I hope to be home soon.

Peace

Back From The Dead

2006-09-28T05:06:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am still alive. I know I haven't posted but this has been a shitty month overall.

I lost one my favorite uncles, my last grandpa, and me favorite dog. My chemo appointment was canceled because I had bad-looking moles growing on my skin. They did some biopsies, and they turned out negative for cancer after four days of waiting.

Not to mention my last chemo SUCKED. They gave me all the drugs at once, and it was worse than I imagined. My face (and body) swelled up like a balloon (almost 20lbs of fluid retention!) and I didn't eat (nothing substantial) for over ten days.

When I got home, I spent the first week in bed. I couldn't do anything. It was horrible.

Because of all of this, round six is the first chemo that I wasn't approaching with enthusiasm. As a matter of fact, you could say I was considering not showing up :).

I had a long talk with myself in the mirror yesterday, and my mirror image listened to reason. The gist: "look buddy, the reason we are doing so well is your strength and positive attitude. What are you going to do, give up? It is working dumbass! Get off your ass, take some deep breaths and get ready for this treatment. It is going to suck, but we will take it one day at a time."

I felt better and I am ready for this. I am in the hospital, they started the drugs last night. No bad feelings yet, but it will come.

Thank you for being patient with me. I am attaching a picture of me swollen up.

Ok I have to say this. I have been thinking about the sword of Damocles story from Greek/roman mythology. To get up to speed click here. Basically this guys gets a sword hanging over his head and he doesn't know when it will fall.

I say, nothing has changed. He still faced uncertain death every day. So Damocles came out on top. Feel free to post opinions.

"Men (and Women) are cursed to know their fate but not the time, We know what we will find at the end of the road, yet know not how long the road may be"

Peace

A Birthday, Plus The Good and Bad

2006-08-23T19:46:00.000-07:00

Well I am another year older, the big 31.

My birthday was pretty uneventful. I got everything I wanted and had a good meal at Lupe Tortilla's. Wait, scratch that. I ordered a good meal at Lupe Tortilla's but had to go home because Jacob stepped on glass in the sandbox. Lesson: don’t let your child play in a strange sandbox without shoes. Actually, we still had a good time.

My Cancer:
First, the not-so-good news. I am officially losing my hearing. It is a common side effect of one of the drugs (cisplatin) and the doctors are not surprised. If it is progressive, they may consider changing drugs but no real consequence yet. As far as I am concerned, I could care less. Hearing aids can be very cool. Also, who wouldn't like to be able to turn their ears off every once in a while?

The nodule in my lung continues to be stable. That means it hasn't grown or shrunken. No real news there. It is interesting that because they have not biopsied this (gone in and tested a piece of it), they don't know that it is malignant. It could just be a benign nodule.

Now, the great news. The cancer in my belly has definitely been shrinking. This indicates a response to the treatment. Now, I know I said I was responding to the treatment when my belly stopped filling up, but this is proof. My cancer IS GOING AWAY. I love this news; it validates all of the crap that I have been through in the last 4-5 months.

Also, since my belly isn't filling up with fluid, they feel comfortable giving me all of the drugs at once instead of two stages. They have canceled my outpatient treatment and will give all the drugs to me when I go into the hospital next Monday. I should still only be there about 7 days, so that's actually pretty cool. It will be interesting to see if the bad effects build on each other, or if I just feel as crappy as I usually do. Either way, I get a couple more days off before I have to begin. Life is sweet and the small pleasures make a difference.

Family:
My older brother came into town and we had a great time. That is, until my family got into a big fight. Oh well, this stuff happens in a close family. Everyone will get over it and we will all be back (almost) to normal. By the way, if you know my family, don't call/email for details about what happened. If it was your business you would already know.

Jennifer is sick with pneumonia, and is feeling like crap. I can't do much to help, because nothing much helps. At least I have a few more days to be home, taking care of her. God knows she has taken care of me enough in the last few months.

All in all, I am a happy dude. I do have something to say that I hope some of you will think about.

My cancer has shown me both the immediacy of life and the unimportance of most of the things we do. If your life ended tomorrow, would you be happy with what you have done with it? Would you be proud of how you acted, how you treated other people, or even yourself? Do what needs to be done, and spend the rest of the time loving somebody.

Oh, and smile at the people in the drive-through; it can be contagious.

I love you all!
Peace.

P.S. check out the new baldy pic at the top right.

The Movie Critic

2006-08-16T07:38:00.000-07:00

Hello! Hola! Bonjour! Yo!

So, I have not been very busy. Jennifer has been in Arizona since last Friday, and I have been holding the fort down here at the house. Jake was with her for the weekend and I had the house all to myself. I played video games and watched movies. Quick movie reviews:

Jarhead: Good movie, reminds me of Full Metal Jacket. Worth seeing.
V for Vendetta: Better than I expected. Kind of a "smart" movie. Lots of quotes from classical philosophers and great action scenes.
Deep Water: A strange "twisty-turny" movie. Reminded me of U-Turn with Sean Penn.
This Thing of Ours: Good modern day mob movie. Not great.
Munich: Long long long. Not as good as I had hoped. Bring a pillow.
Underworld, Evolution: If you like the other Underworld movies, you will like this one.

As far as my cancer goes, there is no doubt in my mind that I am getting better. I have been feeling so good and operating and almost 100%. I just don't feel sick. When I bounce back from the treatments now, I really bounce back.

I go next Tuesday the 22nd for "re-staging". They do this every two treatments to determine how effective they are. I will have about 10 different tests (blood, x-ray, cat, mri)
. Then, on Wednesday, the doctor will tell me how great everything looks (hopefully). Cross your fingers.

I will start another chemo round the next day. Outpatient for a week then the hospital for a week. Interesting change: I will be studying for classes while I am doing the treatment. I m taking two classes for my MBA this semester, Futures and Options and an Accounting class. Wish me luck!

Well, that's pretty long for now. I am going to get back to my X-Box. I love you all and I will have real news on my cancer next Tuesday.

Life is a garden, dig it.

No More Belly Tube

2006-08-08T15:00:00.000-07:00

Wow! What response!

It looks like most people want me to post whatever I want. That's good, because I would have anyway ;)

OK, last you heard from me I had done the outpatient chemo and was going back for the inpatient portion. For the most part, the chemo sucked. They give me two drugs inpatient, IL-2 and Interferon-A. The IL-2 is an immune system booster, and makes me sick to my stomach. The Interferon is a synthetic version of the chemical messenger in your body that tells you that you have the flu. They call the side effects shake-and-bake. This is because I alternate between horrible chills (warm blankets, wool hats, etc...) and fevers of 102+.

The combination of the these two drugs is just miserable. Not to mention they give me about five other drugs with them, including dopamine. They give me the the dopamine to increase my blood pressure. It also makes my heart rate stay at about 100 beats a minute the whole time I am on it.

So, that's the dirty truth. The good news is that they took the catheter out of my belly. I haven't had to drain any belly fluid, so it was pretty much useless.

I have been thinking alot about life expectancy lately. It seems that even if I go into "permanent" remission, this will be something I will deal with for the rest of my life. The odds are in favor of me fighting this cancer again. I will beat this cancer this time, but I just can't realistically look forward to living to 100 anymore. I know it is depressing but what the hell? I can't be a ray of sunshine all the time.

Right now I am just looking forward to my birthday. It is in less than two weeks and my family is going out for a nice dinner. I will have been out of the hospital for a long time so I should be able to enjoy the food. I might even try a glass of wine or two :)

Well, sorry this isn't my usual pick-me-up post. I'm sure I'll be in a better mood in a few days.

later.

What Do You Want?

2006-08-03T07:23:00.000-07:00

Ok guys, try to be democratic here. I am going to ask the readers of "Fighting in Texas" what you want out of my blog. Would you rather:

Clinical descriptions of treaments, how they are going, my reactions, and changes to the treatments.
Funny missives coming from a man (that's right) with cancer, light on the tech descriptions.
Deep ponderings about the meaning of life, and how they fit into my families situation.
Pictures of me and my family.

you guys let me know either through email or comment on the blog. If you don't have my email, I am sure you can get it :)

BTW Jake and Jen are going to the Wiggles today!

Nothing Special, Just an Update

2006-07-31T04:58:00.000-07:00

What is up?

Things have been pretty cool around here. Jake has been alternating between two year-old terror and angel of joy. Jen has been working hard but finding time to spend at home too. All in all, we are a very happy family. :)

I did the outpatient part of my chemo and for the most part, I like it. It only takes about four hours and going home afterwords is awesome compared to staying in the hospital. The only gripe I have is that the nurses in the outpatient clinic don't seem to be as knowledgable about the drugs as the inpatient nurses. More than once I had to correct the nurse as to the timing or order of my drugs.

I go back into the hospital today for the rest of my treatment. I can't say I am excited to go, but I can handle seven days no problem (compared to the twelve to fifteen I am used to).

I have started a new book, Still Here by Ram Dass. This guy is very deep. I am usually a fast reader but with this book, each page takes a minute. He says something profound in every paragraph and you have to stop and think about it. Pretty cool.

Well, I gotta go get the boy up. I hope everyone has a fine morning aand a wonderful day.

Mr. Clean

2006-07-28T08:07:00.000-07:00

Short note: I full-on shaved my head last night. Here is a pic.

Peace.

Important News via Song

2006-07-27T09:57:00.000-07:00

What? Two posts in two days? Well, I have important news.

So yesterday I went to get some tests done and visit my doctor, the standard procedure prior to a chemo cycle. Those of you that have met my doctor know he isn't exactly "Mr. Emotional" (not a bad thing in my opinion).

Well, when I went in he asked me, as he always does, how has my belly been filling up? When I told him that it seems to have stopped filling up he asked (excitedly) how I was feeling. When I told him I was feeling great, almost normal he got overjoyed. I swear I have never seen a doctor so happy.

What this says to me: "The doctor can't tell me that my cancer is going away based on this evidence. However, he feels that the stoppage of fluid buildup in my abdomen is a strong positive indicator for the progress of my treatment. In other words,

IT'S WORKING!!!!!!!

Great news, really. Jen and I are ecstatic, and foresee more great news in the future.

I wanted to post some song lyrics that describe how I feel. This is a good one by Robert Earl Keen that described an evening when things just went right for an unknown reason.

Feelin' Good Again (excerpt) by Robert Earl Keen Jr.

...So I strolled across old Main Street
Walked down a flight of stairs
Stepped into the hall
And saw all my friends were there
A neon sign was flashin' "Welcome come on in"
It feels so good - feelin' good again

My favorite band was playin'
An Otis Redding song
When they sang the chorus
Everybody sang along
Dan and Margarita were swayin' side by side
I heard they were divorcin'
But I guess they let it slide
And I wished I had some money
with which to buy a round

I wished I'd cashed my paycheck
Before I came to town
But I reached into my pocket
Found three twenties and a ten
It feels so good - feelin' good again...

Cancer Sux like a Hoover

A Quick Summary for Newbies

2006-07-26T04:03:00.000-07:00

Hey everybody!

I thought I would take this opportunity to provide a recap for people who are just now getting the news of my cancer. For those faithful readers that already know all of this, bear with me. :)

In mid-April, I started to notice my belly getting larger. This isn't the first time this has happened to a 30 year-old, but after I grew out of a new suit in a week, I knew something was wrong. I went to the emergency room and quickly discovered that my abdomen was filling with fluid. Days of tests confirmed that the fluid and all my organs were normal, and no explanation could be found for the fluid.

I had a malignant mole (Melanoma) removed from my back about 6 years ago. I have returned to MD Anderson every six months since for checkups and have not had a problem since. I returned to MD Anderson with my new problem of excess fluid and after an exploratory surgery (via Laparoscopy), Cancer was determined to be the cause.

My peritoneum had developed a covering of Melanoma cells. This is important to understand. The cancer is Melanoma (skin cancer, the same type I had on my back), but it is located inside my body. This means that the cancer mad moved or metastasized. This is generally bad news, and makes my cancer stage 4 (out of 4).

I started chemotherapy at MD Anderson immediately. I have been in and out of the hospital for chemo treatments for the last three months, with periods of feeling good and periods of feeling horrible.

I start my fourth treatment tomorrow as an outpatient. I will take outpatient chemo for 4 days and then go into the hospital for the remainder of my treatment. This will take 5-7 days. After that treatment I will go home to rest for 2-3 weeks before another treatment.

So, how is the treatment working? It is hard to say. Usually, they do a CAT scan, see a big tumor and measure it before and after treatment cycles. The doctors can then say "your tumor has shrunk by 20%; the treatment is effective." With me, my cancer is not visible to X-Rays or CAT scans because it is so thin. The doctors have been watching my fluid buildup in my abdomen as a gauge for how the treatment is working.

Until recently, there was no change in the amount of fluid filling my belly. Since my last treatment though, the fluid has almost stopped filling my belly. I take this as a very good sign.

I have also been feeling great. I remarked to Jennifer on Sunday that I felt normal this weekend. It is an awesome feeling. This too, I take as a good sign.

The only way to know for sure how the treatment is working is to open me up and do another exploratory surgery. The doctors have been talking about doing this after my next treatment. Look for news along this line in about a month (2 weeks of treatment + 2 weeks of rest, then surgery).

Well, there it is. It might have been quicker just to read 3 months worth of posts!

Feel free to email me with questions regarding my treatment or just to chat. You have all been so wonderful and supportive, and are a big factor in my (fingers crossed) recovery. Love you all.

Death to Cancer

Lunch Makes My Day

2006-07-19T04:29:00.000-07:00

Ok Ok Ok!

I know I haven't updated in more than a week. I know that everybody is worried about me. I know everyone checks this blog first thing in the morning (as they should). I haven't been busy, my computer hasn't been broken. I have just been lazy about updating. I am sorry, and I will not let it happen again.

So, what has been going on with me? I am sorry to report: not much. I have been out for about 2 weeks and have been enjoying myself and resting.

My day has become centered around one thing: lunch. I have enjoyed meeting people for a good meal almost every day. The highlight so far? Pappa's Seafood with my brother Jordan. I had this AMAZING mesquite grilled redfish and shrimp. Why don't they serve food like that in the hospital? If they did, nobody would want to get discharged (there is that word again).

I made some divinity last week that turned out pretty good. For those that don't know, divinity is a type of candy that is crumbly, white, and usually vanilla flavored with nuts. Mine had halved pecans on it, and it was pretty good. If you have ever tried to make candy in a humid climate, you understand the "luck" involved in having it turn out.

I have decided that we are going to rent an RV for a week to ten day trip sometime next year. I am going to spend the time in between now and then planning it. I welcome any destination (final or intermediate) recommendations. So far, I am thinking either grand canyon or DisneyWorld as the final destination, but I am open to other ideas. Help would be appreciated.

Until just a few days ago, I have been feeling great. I caught some sort of stomach bug on Sunday and have been less than 100% since then, although I have a feeling that I am on the mend. Hopefully I will get to go to lunch today with some old work buddies (my old work, not old buddies).

So, what is coming up? We take Jacob to the circus on Saturday (I'll put a picture up), and I start my next chemo round on Wednesday, July 26. This round will be done outpatient, so I just go to the hospital for 4 hours a day for 4 to 5 days. After that, I will have to go in to get the immunotherapy portion of my treatment. The good news is that I will only be in the hospital for 4 to 7 days! Big change from the 13 I am used to.

Thanks to everyone for the good wishes and prayers, I think they are working so keep it up! :)

I promise not to let it be this long between updates again.

Peace.

Free!

2006-07-08T04:27:00.000-07:00

Hello Real World!

I say the real world because when you are in the hospital for almowst two weeks, you can forget that anything happens beyond the door of your room. But, the world does continue to turn even when I am in here, whether I like it or not.

To all of those who wanted to come and visit me and either got a thumbs down or just didn't hear from me in time, I am sorry. As it turns out, this session of immunotherapy was the worst yet. I don't want to go into details, but I have been miserable for 5 days and in no shape to receive visitors. It is over now, they stopped the medicine about 28 hours ago, and it should be out of my bloodstream now, although for some reason I will still feel some of the effects for days.
Some good news: I am going home today! The doctor has pronounced me well enough to be let out, and I should be discharged in a couple of hours (that sounds slightly gross ;) ).

Sorry its a short post, but I am lacking energy and I really don't have much to say. I'll post again from home in a couple of days.

Love you all!

2006-07-04T15:22:00.000-07:00

Alright everybody, I know its been over a week since my last post. I can't really claim to be "too busy", so I will just say I had other things on my mind.

The first half of my treatment went well. The started me on the Chemo Wednesday night, and I finished it Sunday night (Monday morning). Just like last time, I tolerated it well, and kept me appetite throughout. In fact the doctor might reccomend that for the next course that I do the chemo part outpatient! I would still have to drive to the hospital everyday for five hours, but I would get to sleep in my own bed!

Now for the second phase of treatment. The doctor decided to start the bio therapy Sunday night, while I was still receieving the chemo. I have been sick since. This drug is really mean. I have eaten so little since I started, you can count it as not eating. I am in really bad shape, but it is just side effects from the new drugs. The same thing happened to me last time. Tonight I ordered a blueberry muffin, applesauce, and cherry jello for dinner...

Now for the good news. My belly does not seem to be filling up with anywhere near as much fluid as last time. The difference is staggering. The last time I was in the hospital, we empties 4 liters a day from my belly (keep in mind they are pumping tons of fluids into my body). This time, in 7 days, we have emptied 7.3 liters (would have been 28). For three days my belly looked the same without emptying. I am going to see how long I can go without pulling any fluid out. Maybe the rest of my stay!

Happy 4th to everybody. Remember what this holiday means. It represents the birth of the greatest country on earth. Give her a good party...

Peace

2006-06-29T05:27:00.000-07:00

Ding ding ding! Time for round three!!!

Here I am, sitting in this 12 x 12 prison, drinking orange juice and eating a danish. I guess after three weeks away, I am back in the best hospital in the world...

So I got to my room yesterday around 4:30. Jenny set up the room just the way I like it. You would never guess that I left for three weeks! But I did, and I am back. Time to get back to the business of killing cancer.

I got my first dose of Chemo last night. I don't feel a thing yet. I am taking all the same drugs and dosages as before. They scrapped the idea of a 14 day course and instead want to stick with 5 days of Chemo followed by 4 days of bio with 2-3 days of recovery. I should be out of here by the 9th or so!

So, I am going to try to post something that touches me everything I post. I was listening to Jack Johnson this morning and this snippet of lyrics caught my ear. While most songs of this type talk about what is important in life, this one talks about what is not important.

Gone by Jack Johnson
Look at those fancy clothes.
But these can keep us warm, just like those.
And what about your soul, is it cold?
Is it straight from the mall and ready to be sold?

Cars and phones and diamond rings, bling bling.
Those are only removable things.
And what about your mind does it shine?
Are there things that concern you more than your time?

Gone, going, gone. Everything gone, give a damn.
Gone be the birds when they donÂt want to sing.
Gone people, all awkward with their things.
Gone.

By the way, Jack Johnson is awesome. If you don't know who he is, go out and buy his albums "Brushfire Fairytales" and "On and On".

Je t'aime, je t'adore. Quelque le diable voulez-vous encore?
(I love you, I adore you. What the devil else do you want? One of my mom's favorite sayings)

Peace

2006-06-22T07:20:00.000-07:00

Hello there friends and family,

Well, I am not going to beat around the bush, I went to the doctor yesterday and all the news wasn't good. I have great news, good news, and bad news.

So the great news: When I had my first brain MRI one and a half months ago, there was a dark spot that the doctors were concerned might be cancer. They weren't convinced 100%, but the possibility was there. My brain MRI from Tuesday shows absolutely no cancer in my brain. Great news!

Now the good news: The object of all these drugs they give me is to shrink and hopefully eliminate the cancer in my body. According to the CT scan I had on Tuesday, the cancer in my belly is "Stable". This means no significant growth or shrinkage. The good news is that it hasn't grown significantly in the last month and a half.

If you just want the good news, stop reading now.

The first piece of bad news has to do with my hospital stay. Because they are afraid I have an infection in my belly, they don't want to start my third round for another week. They sent me home and have my a bottle of antibiotics. I consider this bad news because I don't want to give this cancer a chance to grow.

Second bad news. Like the smudge in my brain, on my first CT scan one and a half months ago, there was a spot on my left lung that they were unsure about. As it turns out, while it hasn't grown, it showed up in the CT scan I had on Tuesday and the doctors are pretty sure its cancer. I can't begin to tell you how much that sucks.

So, I am home for another week. I will post again this weekend. I Love you all.

2006-06-19T18:50:00.000-07:00

Ok, here is the scoop.

Today was my last day away from the hospital for a long, long time. Tomorrow, I go in for an entire day of tests. Some of the tests I will be having are MRIs, X-Rays, and Cat Scans. I am having these tests to try and determine if the chemo is working so far (it's called staging).

Unfortunately, I had all those scans before the chemo and they really couldn't see my cancer. It took a surgeon looking with his own two eyes to see it. I guess, no news is good news from the tests tomorrow.

After my tests, I come home and sleep in my bed. Wednesday I go back to meet with the doctor about the tests, and then I get admitted to the hospital for an undetermined amount of time. Before I left last time, the doctor was suggesting a 14 day course of chemo and (bio) immunotherapy. It would go like this: 5 days of chemo, 4 days of bio, then 5 days of chemo, plus 2-4 days of recovery time. End result: 16-18 days in the hospital.

This would start a new phase of treatment. I would officially be spending more time in the hospital then at home.

So, I am not too happy about the hospital stay, but I am encouraged that my doctors want to get aggressive with my treatment. I have been telling them to take off the kid gloves and hurt me (and the cancer), and they are listening.

You all rock for staying in touch with me during this difficult time. I miss you all and hope to see some of you in the hospital visiting me (hint hint).

Love ya,

Jason

2006-06-15T06:53:00.000-07:00

As Dr. Nick likes to say, "Hi Everybody!"

So, whats been going on? I have been enjoying my time away from the hospital. Not doing much, just lazing around the house and resting. It is amazing how normal I can be for an hour or so, then I am beat. I just don't have the energy that I used to. Damn Chemo.

I bit the bullet and bought a new XBOX 360. It rocks! I bought Oblivion (which is a role playing game), Project Gotham Racing (super car racing, corvettes, ferraris, etc...), and John Madden Football (OK game, not really into sports games). I love the XBOX and it has helped me fill some of the long hours at home. BTW, if anyone is on XBOX live, my tag is Draki11a. (yes, those are ones instead of ls).

Hmmm, what else? Nothing really. My hair continues to fall out, but still in patches. My belly still fills with fluid, but I don't know if it is more or less than before. I am eating like a horse, but it is still harder to put down dinner than breakfast or lunch.

Here is a picture of Jake. He was "fixing" the chair. How many handymen will work in a diaper?

Ok everyone, I want to leave you with a peom that someone posted in the comment section of my blog. It is dark, but very powerful, and I think describes how I feel perfectly.

William Ernest Henley. 1849–1903

Invictus

OUT of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

What this poem says to me:
"Sometimes the only hope to be found comes from within, and that can be enough"

Love you all,
Jason

2006-06-09T05:59:00.000-07:00

Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo! J-Dog in the house!

Ok, I am feeling a little nutty this morning. In my defense, I have a lot to be (pleasantly) nutty about.

I am home! I came home the Wednesday evening with little celebration. For those of you who have never had an extended stay in the hospital, coming home means so much. In the end, even with the visitors and constant doctor and nurse visits, hospitals are very lonely. And home, even with Jen at work and Jake at day care, is not very lonely at all. Maybe it's a quirk of spacetime, or just a fact, but being home feels good!

One of my aunts came to stay with us for a few days also, which is very cool. It is so nice to see her, even though she is working during the day too.

Yesterday, Jordan came over and brought lasagne for dinner, not to mention made a salad and an apple pie right there in my kitchen. I love my family.

So how am I doing? Pretty good considering I got a 10-day course of chemo and immunotherapy. I have a bad case of edema (swelling with fluid) in my legs, and something called Red Man syndrome has caused me to break out in a rash over most of my body. Like all the other minor annoyances associated with chemo, it's better than Cancer!

I go back on the 20th, and my doctor is already telling me that he is so pleased with how I have tolerated the chemo, he is considering a 14-day course next time. That would be a 5-day course of chemo, a 4-day course of bio (IL-2) and then another 5-day course of chemo! I am not happy about being the hospital 14+ days again, but the more they give me the better.

Until then, rest and relax. I was thinking of starting a library of video clips for Jake where I talk about my childhood memories. Ever seen "My Life"? Somewhat like that. I might sell my old X-Box on eBay too. Try to save up enough for an X-Box 360 and Oblivion!

Ok. This one is a little long-winded. I promise next time I'll post another picture of my head with no hair so you have something to look forward to. You know who are!

Love you all,

Jason

2006-06-05T03:26:00.000-07:00

Hey! Yes, I know its 5:30 in thge morning and I should be sleeping but I have some great news!

My last dose of IL-2 just finished! Yippee Skippee! Time to start getting better. I winder how lonf it will take the nausea ti subsite, but I plan on easting a Schotzky's Sandwich as soond as possible!

Thanks for all the complements on my new hair cut. It is continuing to evolve from army-cut to soft baby's butt cutt, to not hair all all. Updates to come.

Getting Through It

2006-06-03T17:49:00.000-07:00

Hello all you people in the real world!

I am sitting here and waiting for my dinner to arrive (more on that later), and I thought I would check in with y'all.

So, I have been feeling pretty crappy since my last post. The doctors say it's either delayed symptoms from the other drugs, or symptoms from the IL-2 that they are giving me right now. Hard to say, and it doesn't really matter. I basically feel nauseated all the time, which hurts my ability to eat.

I have stuck to my goals though, albeit with some slight modifications. My dinner tonight is jello, applesauce, and ginger ale. I am getting up and walking, but I am taking laps around the room instead of going downstairs. I am still believing, and that hasn't changed. I can just imagine these drugs making the cancer feel as horrible as they make me feel :)

So here is the plan. I go home on Tuesday, June 20, I will come back for a battery of tests, and I will meet with the doctor the next day to go over the results. Hopefully, we will have some idea of the effectiveness of the treatment at that point. If it is working, I will immediatly start another course on the 21st. Odds are I'll do 6 courses in total, running tests in-between each 2.

I have had so many visitors! Unfortunately, I have had to turn some away because of how I was feeling at the time. If you are reading this, I still love you guys!

I am not sure what else to say. I am looking forward to going home and recuperating. I cannot wait to feel better again for a week and a half or so :)

Be Cool! Stay in School!

Feeling Down With a Photo

2006-06-01T13:30:00.000-07:00

OK. This will be my first "downer" blog entry. However, I promise to post the picture of my bald head at the end of it.

So, this new drug makes me feel horrible! It's called IL-2, and it is a protein that your body makes to pump up the immune system. I wasn't able to keep my dinner from last night or my breakfast from this morning down. That really sucks, because continuing to eat is one of my major goals for this round.

Oh, the doctor's say it is normal. My doctor says don't worry if you don't eat. But I remember how weak I was when I left the hospital last time.

Another benefit of the drug chills and fever. I get the chills and 30 minutes later, I’ve got a fever of 102. It happens about every three hours.

OK, enough bitching. I promised I would post the picture so here it is...

I Love Visitors

2006-05-29T19:36:00.000-07:00

Hi everybody! I hope everyone had a good memorial day. Take some time before bed tonight to think about the hundreds of thousands of men and women that have given their live so that we can barbecue, waterski, and relax on this fine day.

It rained in Houston today, spoiling many an outdoor barbecue. I have privileged information that in fact, every one of those barbecues continued successfully somewhere else, so no harm done :) For myself, I had Chick-fil-a for lunch with Jen, Jake, and an old friend from my Anatec Consulting days.

I am still doing well. The stubble on my head is continuing to thin, and my appetite is finally decreasing. I managed a full breakfast and lunch, but dinner didn't do it for me. I ate a lot of it anyway! It was turkey slices and gravy with mashed potatoes. I used my old trick of just mix it all together to mask most of the taste. It worked, enough.

Some friends from school also stopped by to while away the afternoon. It really is nice when people visit. I think I surprise people with how energetic I am. I miss everybody so much. Trust me, if you are reading this, I miss you.

Updates to my treatment:
For those of you who don't know, the last time I was here I received 4 drugs, Vinblastin, Cisplatin, Temodar, and Interferon-A. This time they haven't been giving me the Interferon because of a Staph infection in my belly. It looks like that infection is pretty much whupped (as we say in Texas).

So the new plan is this:
After my course of these three drugs (Vinblastin, Cisplatin, Temodar), I will have a five-day course of both the Interferon-A and Interleuken-II. The second one is a new drug to me, but shows amazing promise for putting patients in my situation into remission, sometimes permanently!

I love you all. I think about you guys all the time and miss you dearly. I am not a praying person, but I am not ashamed to say that I've been praying. Not for my health or a cure, but for the strength to get through this. All of you, you give me strength.

Peace

A Moment of Peace

2006-05-27T05:52:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning and I wasn't sure where I was. Then I remembered "The Cancer".

It sounds terrible but it was actually a good thing. Usually, I can't stop thinking about it. The fact that I forgot for a while, means I have been thinking of something else while I was sleeping.

So here I am, in the hospital. Same basic room (across the hall from where I was last time). Same nurses, blankets, tv shows, etc... I'm officially back.

Some things are different. My hair is gone. Jen and I decided yesterday that we didn't want it to get patchy so we went down to the barber and had it ALL chopped off. I'll upload a picture as soon as I get a chance to take one. It's funny but it doesn't look half as bad as I thought it would. My head gets cold though :)

I feel better than I ever did the last go around. The main reason for that is I started my hospital stay with a surgery last time. This time I am coming off of two week of rest.

I know what to expect, and I packed exactly what I will need.

Still, the things that are the same overwhelm me. Did I even leave?

I am 1/5 of the way through 3 of my 5 drugs. I start the fourth today, and the fifth in four more days. I am excited about this round because I feel like we are trying some new things. Plus, about 2 weeks after this round of chemo, they are going to open me up and take a look around again to check the progress. That will be the real defining moment. Is this working or not? The ten-million dolllar question.

Gonna stick to my goals today. I woke up and cleaned up, and went to the nurses station to MAKE and get coffee. I just ordered a big-ass breakfast and I plan on taking a walk afterwords to get some fresh air. I think the walk will be better if I can make it a morning/afternoon routine.

Oh, my other goal of not focusing on how crappy I feel? I smiled at every person that woke me up in the middle of the night to poke and prod me. :)

A Good Week, About to End

2006-05-25T07:41:00.000-07:00

Well, it has been a great week.

I have gotten stronger everyday and continue to eat more at every meal. I still get tired easily, but I plan on driving (wow) to the mall today and going out to lunch. My brothers and I are meeting at Freebirds for burritos.

Some bad news. My hair started falling out two days ago. It is coming out in clumps and I have no doubt that I will lose it all within a week or so. I knew this would happen, but I can't say I was prepared for it. It makes the chemo all the more real. Jennifer, my wonderful wife, went to the store and bought me a bunch of hats without even being asked. Love is a great thing.

I go back tomorrow to the hospital for another round of chemo. I am dreading it, but it must be done. They might start me on a new drug after the standard five days of the other drugs. If they do, it will extend my hospital stay by about 4 days.

My personal goals for this round:

Keep Eating. I will eat whether I am hungry or not, and whether it tastes good or not. My strength has come from food and staying as normal as possible.
Keep Moving. I do not plan on spending the next week or so in a hospital bed. I will take walks around the hospital and try to get some fresh air.
Keep Believing. I got pretty despondant last time because I felt so horrible. I will keep focused on the prize, cancer-free living for myself, my family, and my freinds.

My posts might stop when I am in the hospital, last time I wasn't able to use the computer very well.

I let everyone know how it goes!

Pictures From Before

2006-05-20T17:07:00.000-07:00

Wow, what a difference a few days makes!

I am feeling much better. I am moving around, eating meals, and even snacking! I still can't mow the lawn or run, but I'll take what I can get.

I can't believe some of the people I have heard from since my diagnosis. You know who you are, you wonderful people from my distant past! The outpouring of love and support has been inspiring and uplifting.

I wanted to share some recent pictures with everyone. These are pictures of Jen, Jacob, and me back in early April. We went to Chappell Hill, TX to take pictures in a field of bluebonnets. What you can't see in the pictures is that it was really cold! Jacob was a trooper.

Hello Out There

2006-05-19T06:16:00.000-07:00

Good morning all,

I had a great day yesterday. I feel that I have turned a mental corner with my cancer. I was feeling pretty shitty prior to yesterday, but then I was okay. I am determined to fight this thing. I have decided that my job is to get my body in the best shape possible for my next treatment (next fri). That means being able to go up the stairs without getting winded, not running a marathon.

I have so far eaten 3 full meals, and I plan to continue eating today. For those who haven't seen me since the hospital, I look like a skeleton. I am going to get my haircut today, and I'll take a picture and post it.

I finished Lance Armstong's biography. I highly recommend it. It is a short, easy read, and he talks alot about his cancer and chemo treatments. In fact, I am taking some of the same chemo drugs that he was treated with. Great book.

Well, thats it for today. Love you all.

What is Chemotherapy Like?

2006-05-18T05:52:00.000-07:00

OK guys, a quick update...

I made it through my first round of chemo with little to no side effects. However, when I came home from the hospital, it all hit me. I have been home for 7 days, and I am doing much better now, but I was in bad shape the last week. Some highlights:

I don't really have energy to do anything, including type :).
I didn't eat much solid food until yesterday.
I've been in pain from the IP catheter they put in my belly.
I had to go to the emergency room due to low calcium. My muscles were seizing up and I could't talk or breathe.

So, that's some of the bad things. Yesterday I hit a turnaround. I ate 2 meals of solid food, which I need for energy. I walked around the hospital without a wheelchair (this is a big step). Finally, I took a shower and shaved. Man that felt good.

So, the situation is bad but getting better. I go back for another chemo treatment on the 26th. I am not looking forward to it, but I am determined to be in better shape for this treatment than I was for the last.

Thank you all for the emails, I love you guys...

A Dark Day

2006-05-05T05:50:00.000-07:00

To loving family, dear friends, and respected colleagues;

As some of you know, I spent most of the last two weeks in the hospital with an unexplained swelling in my belly. I had exploratory surgery Tuesday and it was confirmed to be caused by Melanoma, a malignant cancer. I had a Melanoma removed from my back in October, 2000, and it was never expected to return. Well, it did. The technical name for what I have is Metastatic Melanoma.

Unfortunately, it is not operable. It is covering my peritoneum, the bag the holds my organs in. Luckily, it has not spread to any of my other organs that we can see.

I am at MD Anderson Cancer Center here in Houston, one of the top two cancer centers in the world. My doctor is awesome, and I trust his judgment completely.

I have started what is called Biochemotherapy therapy. I had my first dose last night, and things went very well. I plan to be home next Thursday for about two weeks while I wait to start another course. The courses take 3 weeks (1 week on chemo, 2 weeks off), and my doctor wants me to do 6-8 of them.

I am very weak from the drugs and Jennifer is very tired from the stress. If you have a question about this cancer or the drugs I am taking, please look it up on the internet. Keep in mind, that every cancer is unique, and you have to take what you read on the internet with a grain of salt .

Please feel free to send me emails. I will read them, however, I will probably not reply. I only turn my computer on for about 20 minutes a day, and I don’t have the strength to answer all the emails I have been getting. I appreciate the awesome gifts people have sent, they are quite nice and cheer up my room well. However, it is getting quite crowded in here. If you wish to send something, please make a donation to MD Anderson here.

Thank you for you prayers and thoughts.. I plan on getting through this and ending up in full remission. The is no other alternative I will accept.